I dont even want to be around you. Humiliation. this is what you did to me, and somehow people are mad at me not you. What the actual fuck is up with that? There are so many people you hurt me with, so, so many. I hate you for it. I wish i didnt work with you, i wish i had never lived with you, i wish i had never met you, and yet somehow, i dont know where id be without you. Fuck you. I Love loved You.
I miss you. every day. It seems odd that you are the closest people to me, and that you are about 4197 miles away.
I hate that you moved, i hate that yo left me when i needed you most, but i can begrudge you that, you were there for 12 years of my life and all that you gave me will never be forgotten. you made me who i am today, and its only the bits i did myself that i dont like. The things you taught me are my favourite traits in myself.
Im sorry. im sorry for everything i put you through, im sorry for being such a let down, and that no matter what i do its never going to be good enough for me, which impacts you. Im sorry for everything that ive done to you this year, everything that happened in Jan/Feb, all that stress that i left you with after everything youve been through.
Thank you for being there, you dont know the full story of how i feel right now, and how much shit im in, but youre still helping me, and you can never know how much that means to me.
Make the fucking effort. You live 6 miles away, and cancelled on me numerous times for something ‘more important’. You’ve never been there, and if you say no to me on Saturday then im done. I haven’t seen you since September 2009, you make about 9 times as much as me (i did the maths) i can barely afford to eat and you own 2 cars and decide to splash out £5k on a fucking Breitling watch that you never needed. Help me please. For once.
I barely know you both as well as i should, but i can come to you with anything. You’re always there for me no matter what, and i appreciate that you call me a fucking douche for going back and making the same mistakes over and over.
You know what ive been through, and you’ve both experienced it first hand for yourselves, i should listen to you more often, because you both seem to live your lives much better than i do.
This summer is going to be amazing, once i sort out all my shit, we are gonna rock Leeds, and the times before and after then. I actually cant wait and nothing is going to ruin that for any of us :]